How to Love Yourself After Trauma

If you have been through trauma, you may struggle to love yourself.  Feelings of guilt, shame or unworthiness can begin to dominate your thoughts. You might believe the trauma was your fault, or that you are somehow “broken” because of it.

You are not broken and the damage caused by trauma can be reversed. A big part of this is learning how to love yourself again. In this blog, we explore this idea, which is crucial as part of trauma recovery. For more information on how Yatra Centre can help you recover from trauma, contact us on +66 96 916 3287.

Understand Trauma and Its Impact

Before we look at how to love yourself after trauma, let’s first explore how trauma affects your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Trauma, whether caused by abuse, neglect, violence, or any deeply distressing event, can lead to emotional wounds that affect your ability to love yourself. You may feel disconnected from your own identity, experience guilt or shame, or carry a persistent feeling of being “unworthy.”

These wounds often manifest in the body, leading to a dysregulated nervous system, chronic stress, anxiety, or even depression. The very essence of trauma is a violation of safety, both externally and internally. As a result, rebuilding self-love after trauma means creating a new sense of safety within yourself.

Rebuilding Trust in Yourself

One of the first steps to loving yourself after trauma is learning to trust yourself again. Trauma can distort your self-perception, making you doubt your instincts, emotions, and decisions. Rebuilding trust involves acknowledging that your feelings and experiences are valid, even if they seem confusing or overwhelming.

Start by identifying and respecting your personal boundaries. Trauma often involves a breach of boundaries, whether physical, emotional, or psychological. By consciously recognizing your limits and asserting them, you signal to yourself that you are worthy of protection and care. This also means learning to say no when something doesn’t feel right.

Practice Self-Compassion

After you have experienced trauma, self-criticism can be triggered. You may judge yourself for how you reacted during or after the traumatic event, or feel frustrated with your pace of healing. The nervous system dysregulation caused by trauma can also cause difficulties in accessing self-compassion. Here are some ways that you can reconnect with your self-compassion:

Speak Kindly to Yourself

People who have experienced trauma often have an overactive “inner-critic”. This is the voice that criticizes us and puts us down in our everyday lives. This voice can be paralyzing, stopping you from moving forward with your life. The first step in addressing this “inner-critic” is knowing when it kicks in.

Once you have become aware of it, you can start to question the narrative it gives you. This can be difficult to start with, as you may have become so identified with this voice that you believe everything it says.

Having professional support can be a massive help, particularly in the beginning stages of re-igniting your self love. Having a therapist who can point out where your inner monologue is being hurtful to you and helping you to see the true picture can be invaluable.

Embrace Imperfection

There is not one person alive on earth who is perfect. We all make mistakes sometimes, and this is perfectly OK. Learning how to love yourself after trauma involves accepting your own imperfections. Brené Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection” is a great place to gain insight in how to love not being perfect.

Appreciate Your Resilience

Rather than focusing on the ways you feel “damaged,” instead recognize the strength it took to survive the trauma and continue moving forward. This can take incredible fortitude, and it is important to notice the power you have by continuing after trauma.

Self-Love Practices

Taking good care of yourself is an important part of practicing how to love yourself after trauma. Eating well, exercising and having good quality rest when you need it are all part of self-love. Make sure that you also acknowledge when you are engaging in self-love practices.

You can start this by taking note that you reading this blog on how to love yourself after trauma is self-love in practice!

Connect With the Body

Trauma can cause a disconnection from the body which manifests as numbness, chronic tension and dissociation. Learning how to love yourself after trauma involves reclaiming your relationship with your body. Somatic practices are a powerful way to help reintegrate the mind-body connection after you have experienced trauma:

• Yoga: Trauma-sensitive yoga focuses on gentle movement and mindfulness, helping you become more present in your body.
• Breathing exercises: Deep, diaphragmatic breathing can calm the nervous system, reduce anxiety, and help you feel more grounded in your body.
• Body scan meditation: This practice involves bringing awareness to each part of your body, helping you reconnect with sensations and release tension stored in different areas.
• TRE (Trauma and Tension Release Exercises): TRE involves getting in a series of poses designed to cause shaking in your psoas muscle. This shaking can powerfully release trauma, and also help to reconnect you with your body after you have experienced trauma.

Learning How to Love Yourself at Yatra Centre

Taking the time out of your life to dedicate to healing from trauma is a bold decision, but if you are struggling with the effects of trauma, it is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make.

Living without self-love combines the effects of trauma, making it even more difficult to live. At Yatra Centre in Krabi, Thailand, we will guide you to love yourself again, and also help you address all the other aspects of your trauma.

For more information on how we can help you with your trauma, contact us on +66 96 916 3287.